i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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