Me. At least after what I've been through.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
