New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
