YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
