If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
