Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
