it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
