omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
