One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Acid is not a monday night drug
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize