dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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