I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
