so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think people are normalizing furries
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
