Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's blow job season.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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