You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
