from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
