I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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