Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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