i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
