oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize