question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
