Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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