Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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