I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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