I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just cropdusted the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize