Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
