So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
