bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
