Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
