Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
my liver is dry heaving
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
