i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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