Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
