someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize