I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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