My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
