Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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