dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
