ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
