fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
