Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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