For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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