I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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