What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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