I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
