if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
