I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
