he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
