I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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