Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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