I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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