WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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