check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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