Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dignity is for republicans.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
