Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
