just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
