So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
