Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
