i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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