I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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