i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Found your dick twin last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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